Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
