God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
im on a boat
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