Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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