Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
