he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
