Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
