He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
