he shaved USA in his pubs
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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