You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
