i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
