In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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