Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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