I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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