That's intense
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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