i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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