lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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