I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
