last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
