come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize