the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
