White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize