I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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