Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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