help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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