We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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