the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
