I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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