I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
