True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
