if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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