do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
