Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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