Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
