Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
