FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
