It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize