i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
