Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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