I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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