i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
