your room smells of hookers.
And success
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
