Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
