No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
