Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
