dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
