You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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