My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize