Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
