I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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