If i come over, it means nothing
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
