Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize