Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
