i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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