so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
