Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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